What`s for dinner Clarey?: Cake holes

What`s for dinner Clarey?: Cake holes:  Have your cake and eat it... I am a romantic and even though my big stupid heart has been fractured on numerous occasions I still believe i...

Cake holes

 Have your cake and eat it...

I am a romantic and even though my big stupid heart has been fractured on numerous occasions I still believe in love. So this weekend I got to go on an all inclusive ride on the Love train that was my friend Debbie`s wedding!

Those of you who know me well, know I`m just a girl who can`t say "No!". My emotions always rule my head and if anyone asks me to do something, however outrageously out of my comfort zone I will find myself nodding yes yes yes, even though my inner sensible self is tutting smugly at another fine mess I find myself in. This was true when I found myself last year offering to make the wedding cake for my beautiful friend.

The wedding was cancelled twice due to the pandemic and I was so delighted for her when it was rearranged and she could finally marry her truelove Malcolm. They are a perfect pair and deserve the best of everything...including the best cake I could magic up for them. I did suffer a little from imposter syndrome during it`s construction, Great British Bake Off will not be receiving my application anytime soon...I`m a rubbish baker! But I`m a very good friend.

So I soaked the fruit in flaggons of sherry and actually weighed and measured all the ingredients out meticulously, unheard of usually for this unruly girl. Three beautiful cakes resulted and then came the decorating bit... the potty mouth was unbelievable I didn`t know I knew so many swear words!!

I have a dipsomaniac cat called Lola who has a primordial pouch and a penchant for sherry trifle. Last year she cost me £300 at the vets for teeth extraction because she`s always got her head in the trifle bowl or biscuit tin. So when she smelled the waft of sherry soaked fruit she went into overdrive. She kept trying to kill the cakes when I had my back turned and I had to keep batting her off the kitchen table as she was on a mission to pounce on my beauties and drag them back to her cat basket!

My lovely Jemima was curious as to who I was swearing at and was quite surprised to find me ranting at three cakes and our slightly chubby Tabby cat. Sensibly she took command of the situation and fed Lola a huge bowl of salmon, after which  the naughty feline slinked off in search of any Kitkats that might have fallen down the back of the sofa!

I then miraculously managed to roll out marzipan and icing enough to cover the cakes and glued it all down with warm apricot jam! The next day I caught several members of my family attempting to cut the cakes by snaccident but I intervened and delivered them safely to the chapel of love in town in time for the big day.

Cake is a comfortingly Northern preoccupation. I wonder if down South they even know what a cakehole is? They probably have a crudite hole or a hummus hole. There`s nowt like a homemade cake in my mind to say quite simply I love you, you matter.

So back to the Wedding day and half an hour before the ceremony I was disguising my lack of icing artistry with pink silk ribbons and pansies and in truth it looked lovely and tasted divine. Fitting for the lovebirds I had baked it for.

I cried all throughout the service, when you see what love really looks like it can well up in your heart and gather in your eyes, thank heavens for waterproof mascara. Love is what you`ve been through together and survived. You love someone despite all their shortcomings and sometimes it`s not a choice who you love, it`s just inevitable. 

The dearly beloved couple gave me so much hope. The cake was a success and to my knowledge noone choked on a tabby cat hair! I am so grateful to have been a little part of their big day it renewed my faith in Love once again. Love and marriage can infact go together like a horse and carriage, rather than the pork pie and custard image that springs to mind when I think of my parents marriage!!

Love makes life worth living and it was everywhere this weekend!The Wedding joy, the tears, the unusual feel of hugs, even my cake - all powered by love. So actually I`m glad I can`t say no, say yes to everything, say yes to Love.

Recipe for love

Jemima came home from a Duke of Edinburgh expedition and asked for love in a bowl- linguini!

8oz steak mince

4 fat cloves garlic crushed

2 red onions sliced olive oil to fry

2tbs tomato puree

1 stick celery, chopped, 1 carrot diced

2 tins tomatoes

pinch of sugar

1 jar green pesto

chilli flakes, cumin. mixed herbs, seasalt, ground black pepper

cup of milk, 2 stock cubes, 2 big glasses red wine

linguine, fresh parmesan

Fry the onions, garlic, celery and carrots until golden, add a tsp sugar to caramelise. Add the mince and brown it, add the tomato puree and cook for a further 10 minutes . Add tomatoes,  stock,spices, wine and milk ,all sounds a bit random but continue cooking for 30 minutes until it is all combined perfectly and add pesto at the end to enrich the sauce.

Spoon into a warm bowl of buttered linguine, top with black pepper and parmesan and mop up the sauce with toasted sour dough. Get it down your cakehole! This certainly made my unhappy camper feel loved again.

Motherlove...they should bottle it ❤