Mrs Smiley goes wonky
At my first teaching job in York 28 years ago I was known as Mrs Smiley, I just don`t have a resting bitch face, more like a resting grin face. I can`t help it, I was born with happy genes. People often underestimate a grinning loon such as myself. Believe me when I say , if I`m cross with someone and give them a bollocking, doing it with a smile is much more terrifying!
My usual plan of action in all that I do is to keep positive and keep smiling...it always pisses off the most negative of opponents, but this weekend I couldn`t keep it up.
I was happily cooking all Sunday morning, a bit bleary eyed and headachey but Saturday night always comprises of fizzy wine and fireworks, so I thought nothing of it. Then I went to put my lippy on, red Chanel warpaint as usual and was alarmed to find my smile was a bit crooked.
Mr N ever the optimist declared I was having a stroke and called 999. They did take me on a rollercoaster ride with blue lights to Lancaster Royal Infirmary ever so quickly. I was literally in a real life episode of Casualty, which is my worst nightmare! I have been to hospital once to be born and two more times to give birth , so slightly out of my comfort zone! I had a head CT, ECG, lots of blood tests and then thankfully was diagnosed with Bell`s Palsy which isn`t great but isn`t a stroke!
I am now taking enough steroids to put me in the GB shot putting squad at the next Olympics and have been told to stay in bed. Not an easy thing for a hyperactive Yorkshire terrier such as myself. I think my half term wipe out antics swimming in the sea is to blame, all that Cornish sea water in my lug holes has given me an infection that triggered the facial nerves to misbehave.
I have always been a winker, but will have to use my right eye for now! I bow down to the mighty NHS , the beating heart of our nation who treated me like I was made of gold. So now I temporarily have a resting bitch face, it doesn`t suit me but at least face masks are in fashion right now!
Whenever the shit hits the fan , I hit the pots and pans and food is always my comfort and feeding others is my joy.
At the homeless charity where I cook , my wonderful colleagues and team of volunteers have still knocked out a delicious cheeky Tuesday free lunch today for anyone who needed it. One of my clients sent me a very nice bottle of wine that he informs me he didn`t rob off anyone!!
Here`s a cauliflower recipe to make you say cheese even with a wonky smile xx
Cauliflower say cheese!
1 large cauliflower
2 large leeks , washed and sliced
2tbs butter
1 pint milk
1 tbs flour
8oz red leicester cheese grated
2 tsp English mustard
Handful of grated cheddar, mozzerella and grated Parmesan
I don`t boil the cauliflower to death like my darling Nanna used to, just wash and cut into florets and put in an ovenproof dish. Then start on making the cheese sauce. Melt the butter in a pan and fry the leeks in it, add the flour to make a roux, stir in the milk, I use a balloon whisk to get all the lumps out. Then use a hand blender to whizz up the leeks this adds a hidden vegetable and depth of flavour to the sauce(secret flavour boost!)When it has made a smooth white sauce add salt, pepper, mustard and stir in the red leicester and stir until it is all melted in. Pour over the raw cauliflower and top liberally with the other cheeses which will add more cheesiness , gooeyness and taste. Bake in a medium oven for 30-40 minutes until the cauliflower is cooked and the cheese is golden and crunchy ontop.
I`d follow this with a slice of fruit cake and crumbly Wensleydale cheese just to be even more comforting. Like my Nanna used to say "a cake without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze!"
Normal smiley service will be resumed asap. xxx
