As the country prepares to cautiously unlock from Lockdown, I`m not sure if I`m ready to unleash my son James on a waiting World- he`s so accident prone!
Of course my three teenagers are chomping at the bit to be released back into society. The twins have gone from the bright lights of their University lives to the softer safe firelight of their home town and house rules that are just too rulesy for their young unruly hearts...
My youngest daughter has really grown up and is blossoming like a flower at the Chelsea flower show but with no one to appreciate her loveliness. We do of course, but she is craving her friends and freedom and fun.
Back to calamity James...
Last weekend was beautiful, even so ,being a nearly 50, Factor 50 SPF , hairy, agoraphobic gal these days I haven't been out at all! It was so sunny though that I prepared to bare! Deforestation took a while, the bath looked like Hagrid had been to stay , but I slapped on some sun cream and slipped into a sundress and was just about to have a Cornish Gin in the garden when the phone rang. I`m ashamed to say I ignored it and let the answer phone take the strain. I could hear the frantic message and it wasn`t my mother ringing to cheer me up like normal with the daily Corona death rate in the North West! No it was Jimmy, who had made it to Grange Over Sands on his bike and had fallen off and was apparently "bleeding all over the road!"
I jumped in Matty`s estate car and went to rescue my boy,who was looking as rough as toast when I found him. Thankfully he had his helmet on and his foot,though gashed, didn't look too life threatening! It wasn`t hanging off or anything! After a long chat with 111, we went to Hospital. Lockdown has taken its toll , Nosocomephobia or excessive fear of hospitals is my Achilles heal.
I`ve been to hospital 3 times in my life, once to be born, and secondly to have twins and in the third instance to have Jemima on my way to my brother`s wedding.
Thankfully I wasn't allowed in. I sat sweating buckets in the car listening to Smooth radio and eating a sharing bag of Walkers sensations crisps- guess what I didn`t share them!
Three hours later Calamity James hobbled out all stitched up and sheepishly admitted he was going "WEEEEEE LOOK NO HANDS!" when he went over his handlebars.
He is a nightmare, but he`s my nightmare and I can`t blame him for a reckless bit of cycling trying to spark joy at this strange time.
Everyone has a story, everyone has worries exacerbated by Lockdown and so my default setting is just to be kind to everyone, even my accident prone Calamity James. I haven`t signed up to the toxic productivity mantra that has kept many sane, I haven't run a virtual marathon, learned to crochet or got into hot Yoga. It is enough in my mind just to survive , whatever brings you Joy though, by all means, I say do it. Providing of course, you stay safe , keep your hands washed and on the handlebars and leave me to drink my Cornish gin in rare solitude.
Chicken alfredo
He may be a bit clumsy but James is a Scientist in the kitchen and makes this for me when it`s "Mum`s night off"
8 skinless chicken thighs chopped into pieces
Olive oil
2 fat cloves garlic ,crushed
150g parmesan cheese
350ml double cream
2tbs butter
400g tagliatelle
Fry the chicken in the olive oil and garlic for 10 minutes until cooked through, set aside
Boil up the pasta in salted water , meanwhile melt the butter and add the cream and Parmesan and bring to a simmer. Add the chicken back into the sauce and when the pasta is cooked slosh it straight into the sauce , add extra black pepper, Parmesan and chopped flat leaf parsley. If the mixture is too thick, let it down with a little of the pasta water.
Serve in warmed bowls with a large glass of Cornish Blackberry gin and tonic and I`ll come and rescue you anyday. xx
Sunday, 7 June 2020
Friday, 1 May 2020
Jemima loves kebabs so much I should have called her Donna!
Lock down birthdays 2020
The initial Lockdown happened for us on March 23rd , which was my youngest daughter and all round sweetheart darling Jemima`s birthday. I had saved up and splashed out on Harry Styles tickets, this was going to be our year, no disappointing carpet tile steak dinner in Wetherspoons for us this year, oh no we were going to Manchester! The hotel was booked and she and her pal Emily were suitably revved up for lashings of Harry, in style.
Instead we had a party tea for five at Castle Howe with her Dad trumping along to "Happy Birthday" (his dubious party piece) and we spent the day painting, not the town red ,but her bedroom duck egg blue!
The fear of Lockdown had been looming for weeks and I had braved M&S to get some lovely curries we could microwave, because... calamity James had managed to break the oven!!
The cooker repair man preceded the washing machine and toilet troubles repair men. He was from Yorkshire and us Yorkshire people are reknowned for liking a proper cup of tea and enjoying a good chinwag.(But surely not in the early stages of a Pandemic?)
Having fixed my oven, I could have kissed him, but his PPE mask would have kind of restricted this, so I stupidly offered him a brew. Could I get rid of him? I found out where he went to school in Wetherby, the names of all his sausage dogs, his favourite chip shop in Scarborough! FFS, I started having a Corona sweat on, which come to think was probably a menopausal hot flush! Why was I being so polite and so British?- he even had two KitKats!!
After managing to get him to leave by simultaneously sneezing and coughing (a bit of Kit Kat went down the wrong way) we continued with the birthday celebrations... birthday cake, candles, Irish dancing in the kitchen, we were altogether and that is all that mattered. "Thanks for a lovely birthday!" Mima chimed on her way up to bed, phew we had successfully shielded her from the storm brewing outside our castle`s walls.
The next week was my birthday- homemade birthday card and hand sanitizer from Matty (spoiled rotten as usual),homemade birthday cake from James , Lily and Jemima and oodles of flowers, chocolates and Champagne arrived by delivery men all day from all my loved ones. "They should make you the patron saint of Amazon , Mum!" said Lilster.
Saint Clare of the Amazon- hoarder of Zoflora, rubber gloves and Benedictine liqueur (Lockdown essentials)!
My boss at school threw a virtual party for me and lots of children sent in video clips of them singing "Happy birthday!" from their sofas and playrooms and trampolines. Those clips will be treasured in my Lockdown time capsule forever, the perfect antedote to fear was the best gift to me delivered through their childlike innocence and joy. I must say it was one of my best birthdays ever...
Jemima`s Kendal Kebabs
I`ve got at least one child who likes cooking like I do and she spreads joy when she makes these for us...
6 lamb leg steaks cut into chunks
Marinate for half an hour in :-
olive oil 4tbs
2tbs honey
2 fat cloves garlic
dried oregano
cumin
chilli flakes
soya sauce
2tbs tomatoe puree
Squeeze of lemon juice and seasalt and black pepper
Thread onto kebab skewers with red onion in between and put into a hot oven for 20 minutes, serve on flatbreads with salad and yoghurt sauce (greek yoghurt with 1tbs mint sauce).
Jemima loves kebabs so much we joke we should have called her Donna!
I hope she looks back on her Corona birthday and smiles because despite the invisible storm raging outside, who cares about the weather , as long as we`re together.
So looking forward to being together with you all again soon xxx
The initial Lockdown happened for us on March 23rd , which was my youngest daughter and all round sweetheart darling Jemima`s birthday. I had saved up and splashed out on Harry Styles tickets, this was going to be our year, no disappointing carpet tile steak dinner in Wetherspoons for us this year, oh no we were going to Manchester! The hotel was booked and she and her pal Emily were suitably revved up for lashings of Harry, in style.
Instead we had a party tea for five at Castle Howe with her Dad trumping along to "Happy Birthday" (his dubious party piece) and we spent the day painting, not the town red ,but her bedroom duck egg blue!
The fear of Lockdown had been looming for weeks and I had braved M&S to get some lovely curries we could microwave, because... calamity James had managed to break the oven!!
The cooker repair man preceded the washing machine and toilet troubles repair men. He was from Yorkshire and us Yorkshire people are reknowned for liking a proper cup of tea and enjoying a good chinwag.(But surely not in the early stages of a Pandemic?)
Having fixed my oven, I could have kissed him, but his PPE mask would have kind of restricted this, so I stupidly offered him a brew. Could I get rid of him? I found out where he went to school in Wetherby, the names of all his sausage dogs, his favourite chip shop in Scarborough! FFS, I started having a Corona sweat on, which come to think was probably a menopausal hot flush! Why was I being so polite and so British?- he even had two KitKats!!
After managing to get him to leave by simultaneously sneezing and coughing (a bit of Kit Kat went down the wrong way) we continued with the birthday celebrations... birthday cake, candles, Irish dancing in the kitchen, we were altogether and that is all that mattered. "Thanks for a lovely birthday!" Mima chimed on her way up to bed, phew we had successfully shielded her from the storm brewing outside our castle`s walls.
The next week was my birthday- homemade birthday card and hand sanitizer from Matty (spoiled rotten as usual),homemade birthday cake from James , Lily and Jemima and oodles of flowers, chocolates and Champagne arrived by delivery men all day from all my loved ones. "They should make you the patron saint of Amazon , Mum!" said Lilster.
Saint Clare of the Amazon- hoarder of Zoflora, rubber gloves and Benedictine liqueur (Lockdown essentials)!
My boss at school threw a virtual party for me and lots of children sent in video clips of them singing "Happy birthday!" from their sofas and playrooms and trampolines. Those clips will be treasured in my Lockdown time capsule forever, the perfect antedote to fear was the best gift to me delivered through their childlike innocence and joy. I must say it was one of my best birthdays ever...
Jemima`s Kendal Kebabs
I`ve got at least one child who likes cooking like I do and she spreads joy when she makes these for us...
6 lamb leg steaks cut into chunks
Marinate for half an hour in :-
olive oil 4tbs
2tbs honey
2 fat cloves garlic
dried oregano
cumin
chilli flakes
soya sauce
2tbs tomatoe puree
Squeeze of lemon juice and seasalt and black pepper
Thread onto kebab skewers with red onion in between and put into a hot oven for 20 minutes, serve on flatbreads with salad and yoghurt sauce (greek yoghurt with 1tbs mint sauce).
Jemima loves kebabs so much we joke we should have called her Donna!
I hope she looks back on her Corona birthday and smiles because despite the invisible storm raging outside, who cares about the weather , as long as we`re together.
So looking forward to being together with you all again soon xxx
Wednesday, 29 April 2020
All you need is Love...and a tin of chickpeas!
What's the perfect recipe for a Lockdown lunch bunch?
It's been 35 days since I skipped to the Supermarket without a care in the World. Alot has changed since those carefree days when I roamed the Aldi aisles fondling avocados, unafraid of coughs and sneezes and invisible diseases. I think the state of my hair says it all...My hair like my repertoire of Lockdown cuisine is wearing a bit thin! Can you imagine the rush for the hairdressers to rescue our locks after lockdown- it'll make those loo roll marauders with their embarrassments of toilet tissue look quite demure.
I have quite simply retreated into my reclusive lair, fiercely protective of my young ones and old ones for that matter. I am quite feral now, hairy Clarey from tash to toes, I saw myself in the mirror today and thought I saw a badger!! Grey and black and wild looking!
We have had some ups and downs so far, up and down like a bride's nightie to be honest!
James and Lily arrived back from University and within days the washing machine had broken. Miraculously the repair man came, he looked a bit terrified and after fixing it asked if he could use our toilet. He was up there for longer than it took to mend the washing machine and he looked a bit sheepish as he left.
I thought his exit was sharpish because he was scared of catching anything from us. In retrospect I think he had an altercation with the toilet handle , because that night at 1 am ,my gentle James broke it and the flush mechanism ! Water gushing everywhere resulting in me switching it off at the stopcock during a pandemic was not my finest hour!Not good. James has never witnessed my potty mouth, before and I pray he will never drive me to be so crude again but I seriously lost the plot that night. My wonderful plumber Vinnie rocked up the next day in amazing PPE enabling us all to PEE safely and wash our hands a thousand times a day again. My nomination for Mum of the year has been withdrawn, James says if he has children one day he'll never call them an 'Ffing idiot!' Let's hope he doesn't have to bear the responsibility of keeping his mucky brood safe in the eye of an invisible storm!
I know we are all weathering this same storm but we are by no means all in the same boat.
Mine is a Love boat with my gorgeous crew, others are in a leaky dinghy. When poverty walks in, Love walks out.
I've been so lucky to witness true acts of kindness, the best amongst us have risen in the worst of times. All the supermarkets have donated huge amounts of food to us at Manna House, the charity I work for, to be redistributed to those who are not loving Lockdown.
The bravery of the bin men, supermarket girls, deliverymen, teachers, carers, NHS workers has humbled me.
They are the beating heart of our country and the nation's conscience , they need to be cherished and elevated after this. Fortunes must really favour the brave...not irrelevant celebrities singing Imagine and crying in their hot tubs. Same storm, very different boats...
So my children eat vast quantities of hummus and as they are the glue in the love sandwich that has kept Matty and I stuck together for 30 years, I have been making them this dish most days, now that a quick saunter down to M&S is unpalatable!
Quick quarantine hummus
1 tin chickpeas
2 fat cloves garlic
4 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp peanut or almond butter
Juice of a lemon
Pinch smoked paprika
Whizz this all up in a blender, add salt and pepper and more lemon juice and olive oil if you like. Serve with hot pitta bread .
All you need is love...and a tin of chickpeas.
If you've gone from 10,000 steps a day to 10,000 calories don't worry. Be kind to others and yourself.
Much love xxxx
It's been 35 days since I skipped to the Supermarket without a care in the World. Alot has changed since those carefree days when I roamed the Aldi aisles fondling avocados, unafraid of coughs and sneezes and invisible diseases. I think the state of my hair says it all...My hair like my repertoire of Lockdown cuisine is wearing a bit thin! Can you imagine the rush for the hairdressers to rescue our locks after lockdown- it'll make those loo roll marauders with their embarrassments of toilet tissue look quite demure.
I have quite simply retreated into my reclusive lair, fiercely protective of my young ones and old ones for that matter. I am quite feral now, hairy Clarey from tash to toes, I saw myself in the mirror today and thought I saw a badger!! Grey and black and wild looking!
We have had some ups and downs so far, up and down like a bride's nightie to be honest!
James and Lily arrived back from University and within days the washing machine had broken. Miraculously the repair man came, he looked a bit terrified and after fixing it asked if he could use our toilet. He was up there for longer than it took to mend the washing machine and he looked a bit sheepish as he left.
I thought his exit was sharpish because he was scared of catching anything from us. In retrospect I think he had an altercation with the toilet handle , because that night at 1 am ,my gentle James broke it and the flush mechanism ! Water gushing everywhere resulting in me switching it off at the stopcock during a pandemic was not my finest hour!Not good. James has never witnessed my potty mouth, before and I pray he will never drive me to be so crude again but I seriously lost the plot that night. My wonderful plumber Vinnie rocked up the next day in amazing PPE enabling us all to PEE safely and wash our hands a thousand times a day again. My nomination for Mum of the year has been withdrawn, James says if he has children one day he'll never call them an 'Ffing idiot!' Let's hope he doesn't have to bear the responsibility of keeping his mucky brood safe in the eye of an invisible storm!
I know we are all weathering this same storm but we are by no means all in the same boat.
Mine is a Love boat with my gorgeous crew, others are in a leaky dinghy. When poverty walks in, Love walks out.
I've been so lucky to witness true acts of kindness, the best amongst us have risen in the worst of times. All the supermarkets have donated huge amounts of food to us at Manna House, the charity I work for, to be redistributed to those who are not loving Lockdown.
The bravery of the bin men, supermarket girls, deliverymen, teachers, carers, NHS workers has humbled me.
They are the beating heart of our country and the nation's conscience , they need to be cherished and elevated after this. Fortunes must really favour the brave...not irrelevant celebrities singing Imagine and crying in their hot tubs. Same storm, very different boats...
So my children eat vast quantities of hummus and as they are the glue in the love sandwich that has kept Matty and I stuck together for 30 years, I have been making them this dish most days, now that a quick saunter down to M&S is unpalatable!
Quick quarantine hummus
1 tin chickpeas
2 fat cloves garlic
4 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp peanut or almond butter
Juice of a lemon
Pinch smoked paprika
Whizz this all up in a blender, add salt and pepper and more lemon juice and olive oil if you like. Serve with hot pitta bread .
All you need is love...and a tin of chickpeas.
If you've gone from 10,000 steps a day to 10,000 calories don't worry. Be kind to others and yourself.
Much love xxxx
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